Thursday, November 16, 2006

Can't sleep

It's 1am. I start my first shift at Purdy's in 11 hours. I am so nervous. I have some anxiety issues, and don't handle stress very well. I tried to go to sleep at 11pm, but just lied in bed thinking. So I got up and have been exploring blogs and websites for the past few hours. It is terrifying sometimes, to see so many talented artists out there. I want to be one. I want to be known, and for people to buy my work. I always wanted to be an artist when I was growing up. Then I got to the age where I realised that I wouldn't be able to make a living from selling paintings, so I thought of careers that involved art. I wanted to be an art teacher, then an art therapist. I planned on getting a bachelors of Fine Arts, but after getting my diploma I realised that they wanted me to have a different style. They didn't like the crafty side of me. Then I recently discovered the Illustration and Design Program at Capilano College, and realised that that is much more my style. So I really hope that I get accepted and it goes well. As I look at all of these artists online, many of them are illustrators, and seem to be very successful. I want to create things that people want to own. I am so worried about drawing things that look real, that I have a hard time drawing from my mind. In order to draw a person, I need to see that person in front of me. But after looking at different illustrators, it is obvious that they don't care about having proper proportions. I need to step outside of my comfort zone and draw whatever I feel like. I need to stop worrying that the arms are too skinny, and just draw. So easy to say, so hard to do. I think I was more talented when I was in elementary school. I drew because I loved it, and didn't worry about what people thought. Now that's all I can think about.

2 comments:

Valerie said...

Hope you finlally got to sleep!! Don't be nervous, relax, take a couple of breaths, drink some coffee!! You'll do awesome today!! And with your art career!!

Marie said...

I hope it went well at Purdy's!

Next time your feeling frustrated with your art try something different and do what I do...
get out your sketchbook, think of something or someone and close your eyes and start drawing without lifting your pencil or looking at the paper.

It's amazing but sometimes I do my most "creative" drawings this way!

One of these days I'll scan the drawings I did this way of my kids and dog!

Let us know how your first day went...